From Infinite Love to the Clouds of Change
One day a child said to me, "I give you a heart." So sweet, so pure!
We are about to express our Love and gratitude to our Mothers, I have been looking back at my childhood and reminisced about it these last 2 weeks. Not only, working all these years with mothers and their precious babies and children, but it had always brought me to reflect about a time when myself I was raised with very young and unhappy parents together. How I received the Love I so eagerly needed and how I felt deprived and unsafe within. I have learned, by necessity to observe my mom fighting between her own emotional needs and mine, her own she always put first. It is incredible how a child can adapt to beg, wait, and feel overwhelmed when that Love springs out at times, almost like a surprising guest, awkward, yet so yearned. I have unmeasurable gratitude to my grandmother who made me feel her stable and robust fountain of Love, unconditional and so quenching. It is that Love I learned from her that springs from my heart to the families I serve, to the friends I love, to myself. And every time it happens, I can't stop but thinking that her heart and generosity and strength shine through me with the noble desire to keep sharing it, like a never-ending well. My eyes are getting wet as I think about her, as I think about my relationship with my mom. I had two mothers, one to compensate for the other one, and it was in a way salvation. The emotional mother and the biological mother are complementary yet so distinct. One will never replace the other, and the damages befell an indelible trace inside.
This healing path is like the peel of an onion or a labyrinth
This message is also for all of you who haven't started on the inner journey of self-care whether you are a son or a daughter for how you have answered this vital question for yourself. If you have suffered from your parent's unrequited Love, how have you found ways to start nurturing your inner-child? Your feelings and your emotions are your friends on this healing path. The scheme of Unrequited Love is relentlessly reproduced in your relationships of all kinds__ a struggle between Power and Control at your workplace, with love-partners, family or with friends. This healing path is like the peel of an onion or a labyrinth I don't think it is ever solved as so deeply ingrained in the fabric of our own DNA, but you can find peace and joy to live life fully with assertiveness and forgiveness, and without fear of losing, not being loved, or being abused.
A child is here to mirror back our own withdrawals
When I was a kid, I pledged I will never have children before I am ready to understand the concept of being in devotion for somebody else, abstracted from mirroring my own narcissistic, petty needs. For me, a child is the essence of purity and is already whole and distinct at birth. As a universal mother, I am blessed of the duty to honor this wholeness and distinct personality before any notion of imposing my beliefs and the respect that comes with it. Modeling this being to my limited understanding of wholeness and distinction is a slippery path where unconscious manipulation is exercised to share Love but at its purest. Perfection doesn't exist, but considering that a child is here to mirror back our own defection, willing to face her reflection with humility, heart, and reason is the perfect place to be. Furthermore, taking care of our inner child, maturing adults is an imperative journey moreover when our own mothers and grandmothers are gone or quasi inexistent by fault and reason. Love encompasses all and is the greatest healer.